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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Why You Don't Need Jessica Simpson



Because this dancing Jessica Simpson is actually more fun than the real Jessica Simpson would be. Just move your mouse around and she - yes - dances. So you can enjoy her prosthetic butt without actually having to hear her talk.

And, while you're there making Jessica Simpson dance like a hot little sock monkey, check out sneak attack photos of people having sex in cars.

Finally, because "Brokeback Mountain" is so topical I have even had it three times this week on my blog, you should know that pirated DVDs of the movie made it to Turkey before the official release. And here is the title they went with:

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What does that mean in Turkce talk, if you're not up on your Turkic/Mongolian-derived languages like I am? You guessed it: "Faggot Cowboys." Thanks to spearhead.com for the picture and iyi akshamlar to all the rest of you.

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 10:41 PM
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