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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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David Hasselhoff Again



What happened to Australia? Weren't they once the country of loose women, plentiful booze and cute little kangaroos that box? What is this sudden fixation with "The Hoff?" Because their credibility has dropped a lot.

And Hoff? What were you thinking when the advertising people said, "We liked your last ad for Pepsi but it just wasn't gay enough" ?

Did you simply reply, "How about if I get on a swing and scream like a pre-school girl? Would that be gay enough?"

Because if you did, they then said, "Yes. Yes it would." And this ad was born.

I haven't giggled this much since The Hoff claimed he was responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall.

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