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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Points To Ponder



This picture of Stacy Kiebler is why my chick is getting boots this weekend. And yours should too.



They discovered some lost Mayan ruins from space. It's the same technology they used in order to ... wait for it, wait for it ... yes, the same technology they used in order to count the number of women waiting to offer me their vaginas.

Batman is finally going to kick Al Qaeda's butt. And since Frank Miller is writing it, and since he did the only good batman comics ever, which means he was responsible for the only good Batman movie ever, you know it will be ... ummm ... good.

Welcome to 1972! Turns out abortions at home are safe after all. There are so many jokes in here that I think my brain short-circuited.

Chris Martin's pants hate him as much as you do. It can't be more. And this, just in case you need more reasons to hate Coldplay.

Finally, if you are bulimic and need a new reason to vomit, a sex tape featuring that guy from Creed and Kid Rock will be available soon.

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