President's Day Good Humor More Brokeback Mountain ridicule ... this time goofing on Star Wars. If you're more of a basketball fan, laugh about Gonzaga University and how they demoralize their opponents by calling them the cowboys of 2005. And if you like Brokeback parodies dealing with forbidden love between cowboys and horses, go here. And you're a perv. If you don't want to laugh about gay cowboys, you can laugh about a guy who steals doorknobs. And hear him talk about stealing other stuff with actual value only because he was embarrassed about his doorknob fetish. I prefer more traditional American fetishes - like midget porn. Ever wonder if your significant other is lying about their number of partners? I admit I lied. No woman wants to date someone with as few partners as me. Being a Tibetan Monk sounds like a great way to get laid, but it isn't. Finally, I am not the first one to make this prediction but I will make it the loudest and the most often: the new James Bond is a pussy.