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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"
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Why Did It Take Me So Long To Make Fun Of Britney Spears?



When a singer I have never listened to causes a fiasco on a TV show I have never watched, well, that's a joke waiting to happen. Some people claim Britney Spears was once hot. I have no idea.

If she were hot, why would she appear on a show only gay men watch? Isn't that what killed Cher's career?

And Ultimate Avengers: The Movie comes out February 21st. If you don't order it, you're more of a crazy person than Britney Spears.

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 7:20 AM
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