Because You Don't Have Time To Objectify Women
You have me to do it for you. And, oh yeah, AskMen.com. They did a handy Top Women of 2005 ranking a while ago but it was suspect because it lacked Jaime Pressly anywhere on it. They have at least corrected their gaffe this year, but they only corrected it because they made this list the most desirable women of 2006. I can only think of one woman more desirable than Jaime and if she is on anyone's list I want them caught and shot now.
Jaime comes in at number 63 on their most desirable women of 2006 list , which means the men who voted have not seen Poison Ivy: The New Seduction or any of her other fine films.
I am including their handy top 10 list here. I don't agree with most of them but the ones that were truly offensive I crossed out and replaced with the choices they should have made.
2. Sienna Miller
7. Jessica Biel
Okay, I only agreed with two of their picks. Sienna Miller makes the list because she is the kind of hottie nutcase you can't help but get excited about. And Jessica Biel has a face like a horse but she has a body so hot I think an angel dies every time I look at it for too long. Some of you will argue about Jessica Alba at number one. Heck, even her Into The Blue costar, Paul Walker, sat down with Complex magazine and had this to say about her:
"Come on, dude, you know what I'm looking at. I couldn't take my eyes off that ass. I'm sorry. She's beautiful. And she's such a pain in my ass, too. But that's what I love about her. She's the kind of girl you just want to have angry sex with for the rest of your life because it's just that good."
Paul is clearly a man of refined intellect. But he doesn't know women.
I'm with him on the angry sex thing though. Here's a conversation I had with my chick when she was angry at me for something ridiculous, like wrecking Scarlett Johansson's relationship a short while ago.
SHE: Why in the world would you cheat on me with some ditzy actress and then write about it ... on your public blog?
ME: I didn't cheat on you. I only nailed her.
SHE: Do you not see that is the worst possible answer?
ME: Sorry, yes, that wasn't appropriate. "Nailed" was not a very considerate way to phrase it. I meant I only "nailed love to" her.
And then she threw my Joe DiMaggio signed baseball through a window and left in a huff. But I got my angry sexy later. Because I was pissed about that window.