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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Ask Men Releases Its List Of Top Women For 2005



Clearly they have never actually dated a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition model or they would have a lot fewer of them on their list. Try to figure this puzzle out; Elisha Cuthbert is way ahead of Alicia Keys, Roselyn Sanchez is #20, Halle Berry only cracked the top 10 and Jennifer Lopez is somehow ahead of both Brande Roderick and Sienna Miller. Katie Price, a.k.a. Jordan, is way down in the 70s. Heck, even her individual cosmetic surgeries alone rank higher than that. And no Jaime Pressly in sight.

Monica Bellucci is #2. Now, I was a Monica Bellucci fan way before that Matrix rubbish. She's Italian and takes off her clothes a lot and, really, nothing more needs to be said. But #2 today? I have a hard time believing that.

You want to know who my #1 for 2005 is, right? If I can ever take a picture she likes, I will post it.

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