Teen Charged For Having Sex With Dummy
Michael Plentyhorse got arrested because he was found sprawled with a dummy on the floor of an arts center in South Dakota with his pants down.
For some reason, this is a big deal. An object of derision and ridicule for the rest of his life? Sure. But a big deal? I should think not. He's 18 and probably hangs around in chat rooms a lot, so his choices may have been limited. Heck, I know one older kid in my hometown who supposedly had sex with a cow. I don't know if he did or not ... and since the only quality time I ever spent with him was when he drove me 40 miles to a hospital with my fingers half cut off, I sure as heckfire wasn't going to ask him then.
But that's not the point of this rant. This rant is about perspective. So this kid is in trouble because the 'dummy' in this case turned out to be a mannequin. But what if the dummy had been Jessica Simpson? Would the police still arrest him? Sure. But only to confiscate his digital camera so they could download the pictures before they had to give it back.
This is a girl so dumb her husband gets caught with strippers and his excuse is because he likes to talk to "smart girls." This is a girl so dumb she thought it was a good idea for her to make a clothing line for fat people. And her creepy father, Joe, demonstrated her apple didn't fall far from the tree when he said to USA Today, "We have people 300 pounds or 90 pounds come up to Jessica and say, 'I'm just like you' ... It's not about the outside. It's what's inside."
Huh? Jessica Simpson thinks 300 lb. girls and anorexic zombies feel just like her? In most cases, I'll buy anything a dumb, hot girl is selling. But even I would laugh at that. And I haven't had sex since 2 AM. So you know I'm desperate.
Over-reactionaries in South Dakota think this guy might have to be registered as a sex offender. This is the kind of thing that makes those 'sex offender' lists almost useless. If some angry ex-girlfriend claims her ex-boyfriend raped her cat, that should not land him on a sex offender list. Likewise, this poor dweeb has enough humiliation coming to him, thanks to our friends at Google. I don't think sticking him on that list will accomplish much.
Hope Matchan, of the prosecutors' department, said: "People might say it's relatively harmless. But I certainly would want to know if this person was my neighbor."
Why not just cover up the naked mannequins you apparently keep in the window of your house to tease this kid, Hope?