What To Do If You Are In The Tallest Building In Japan During An Earthquake
If you're like me, the first thing you might do is wake up the Asian girl whose name you can't remember because you picked her up in a bar and you drank until she was cute and say, 'Shitsurei shimasu, doiuimi desu ka WHEN THE WHOLE FRIGGIN' BUILDING IS SHAKING?'
She might reply that my Japanese sucks worse than my lovemaking but she would like me anyway if I would simply lose some muscle mass, shrink my enormous penis and never speak again. And then call me a fag for waking her up. Not that that happened.
And since my chick is the only one who reads this thing, that really, really did not happen. Except the earthquake.
But if the rest of it did happen, you might think it was just the wind until 20 minutes later when you pull up the trusty news service and see there was an actual earthquake. And there might be a really cool tsunami off the coast somewhere, and maybe it will take some of those cutesy alien-looking creatures that are trying to compete with that duck in the AFLAC commercials out to sea where they can be buried for eternity.
'Cause I love that duck.