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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Tommy Lee Hooked On Absinthe And Strippers



Well, who isn't? Except replace 'strippers' with supermodels and 'absinthe' with Cheez-Doodles. There's nothing like canoodling with supermodels while enjoying a bag of Cheez-Doodles.

But unlike Tommy, I don't go for "La Fée Verte" - that's the French term for Absinthe but, being French people and therefore 80% gay, the literal translation is "the green fairy." Instead, when I want to engage in fantasy-like hallucinations, I simply consult this picture of Jessica Alba.

Article Here

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