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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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What To Do If You Are Sedated By A Thai Tranvestite



Now, if there's one thing I know, it's Thai hookers. And I can tell you, if a Thai man wants to dress up like a woman and hide a sedative in his mouth and stick it down your throat while kissing you, it's going to happen. And you will get robbed. And maybe lose a kidney.

So the police in Bangkok are putting people on notice. Heck, one poor slob who simply wanted the fiduciary joy of rewarding a boy who dressed like a girl for sexual favors was robbed of $7,300 in cash and valuables. Whatever that means. Unless your lost pride and dignity at having to tell the police and then your wife that you got robbed by a Thai hooker who turned out to be a man counts as 'valuables.'

A police lieutenant colonel has this warning for tourists: "Don't rush to kiss a stranger on the mouth or you will end up in a deep sleep."

Truer words were never spoken.

Article Here

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