M.A.F.I.A. MAFIA is an acronym for Morte Alle Francia Italia Anela. Translation: "The death of France is the song of Italy." Yes, the French and Italians like each other that much. But after France clubbed Mexico ( or Portugal; the Portugese have no sense of humor about that joke - see the comments - but even The Simpsons can't tell which country is which. ) in the World Cup semifinal these two world powers are all you have. The only thing funnier than having a USA team in the World Cup Final clobbering a European team is having them clobber each other in the newspapers. You've never seen intolerance until you've seen a European country geared up to hate ... everyone who isn't from their country. What's funny and scientific about hatred and intolerance, you ask? Read on, my friends. What the Germans know is the science of rage: their newspapers went after England by stating David Beckham's mother had "the smile of a peasant" - there's nothing Europeans hate more than being pissed on by other Europeans, especially by a country full of people who invented the golden shower. Then they went after Italy by calling Italians "lazy and greasy, among other things." And those are the two countries they really like so just imagine if the USA had been in the final. Now we can only dream about a Germany-France match. It would have been the kind of walk-over that makes any Guderian fan proud. All the German fans had to do was sit in the stands behind the French goal and hold up a Star of David and the Germans would have blitzkrieged the ball clear through the netting, into the crowd and out Topol's back. Instead we have to watch the Italians, who don't know how to fight at all, against the French, who just do it badly.* So, given those constraints, Viva La France! Because perhaps Der Spiegel shouldn't have called Italians "parasites, mama's boys and slimy" in their newspaper but that doesn't mean they don't have a point. *Except that Joan of Arc chick, who proved the French could win a war provided a French man wasn't in charge.