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Have An Older Brother? You're Probably Gay



I am in the science business, people, and if there's one thing I know because of my extensive experience in science, it's voodoo. Statistics is voodoo, plain and simple. And it might be evil, but I am not going there just yet.

This study says they have found a biological basis for homosexuality - it happens to men who have brothers.

HUH? Yes, they use statistics to say that since 95% of gay men have brothers, brothers make people gay. Or moms who have more than one son start creating gay ones after the first. Or something. I am not really sure what their conclusion is because the premise itself is baffling. To quote Wolfgang Pauli; "This isn't right. This isn't even wrong."

Now, first things first, I got no dog in that gay/not-gay fight.* I couldn't care less, other than it being fun to make jokes when a gay director makes an American icon look gay as often as possible and then goes out of his way to say he's surprised people think the character is gay.**

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And for humor purposes I am all for junk science. It is relatively harmless and gives Al Gore a way to feel important. But now biologists are in on the scam? I haven't been so outraged since that assclown invented string theory.

But when gay statisticians get together with junk science I have to draw the line. 95% of homosexuals have older brothers so older brothers cause homosexuality?*** That's right. Thus, if you have an older brother, you're probably gay.

Wait. I have lots of older brothers. Does this mean maybe Bryan Singer will make me Superman in the sequel? I can provide my own codpiece.


*Number of emails I will get insisting I am gay because I made jokes about gay Superman; 2.

**I'm still going to see it on Thursday. Bryan Singer rocks.

***Insert your own joke here.

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