Gene Simmons Can Be Sued For Defamation But, Strangely, Not For "Unmasked" - Part II
There was a time in American history when shaved legs, codpieces and platform heels were COOL on men.
Not any more. The salad days for cross-dressing androgynous types are long gone and those days, like so many memories from the '70s, should just be left alone. But not everyone can let go of the past and it can cost you. Case in point: Gene Simmons and the lawsuit because of his need to talk about how many women he nailed. You remember last year when I first talked about this bizarre court case. Well, the case is settled but let me recap for you:
Georgeann Walsh Ward was a girlfriend of Simmons back in the day. Simmons, meanwhile, had sex with 4,599 other women. In his "rockumentary" on the subject of his sexcapades he talks about having sex all of the time, day and night, with pretty much anything that moved. He was like a scientist, only in the '70s, when rock stars were rock stars as opposed to now, when scientists are rock stars. Anyway, at various points during his "rockumentary" he talks about his promiscuity and then there are pictures of Simmons with his girlfriend, Ward.
This, she claimed, made her look "unchaste."
Now, seriously, you are dating a member of a rock band ... and he has had sex with 4,600 women. Do you seriously want us to believe you were NOT one of those 4,600? I understand that you are trying to set an example for your grandchildren but the best way to do that is to deny you ever dated Gene Simmons, not advertise to the world that you were a groupie by filing a lawsuit.
What's next? The supermodels I have nailed will get upset about it if I mention it here? Bring on the lawsuits! And Angelina Jolie could try and deny she picked me up in a hotel bar during the filming of Cyborg 2, but you know how many people have been told my story about how I lost the feeling on the fingertips in my left hand? Buckets of them ... I almost shot my Coca Cola out my nose last year when I was on the plane watching Mr. & Mrs. Smith and she ad-libbed that little bit of character depth from the story I told her.
So yeah, I got my eye on your millions too, Angelina. If your next movie has you talking about that time my daddy shot a deer out my bedroom window and made me get up to go drag it in, I am getting me some compensation.
Your eye-poppingly hot ass can't save you from my wrath.
Okay, it can. But you're still a bitch.