Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Bringing you the dark genius of Dostoyevsky
combined with the divine, intelligent humor of Pynchon
since spring 2002


What Cool Scientists Are Wearing



  • Click Here To Get Your Own Cool Science Guy Stuff!
Sites Cool Scientists Are Reading
  • Science & Supermodels
  • Scientific Blogging
  • Build Cool Stuff!
  • We Are Scientists
  • Sex And The Beach
  • The Grunt
  • The Mighty Dyckerson
  • Blog Portland
  • Mo Comedy
  • RevRee
  • Chatoyance
  • Crystal Village
  • Misogynous Portuguese
  • M-Visions
  • Forever Geek
  • Geek Logik
  • Michelle's Spell
  • Issy
Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
  • Subscribe

  • Making the world safe
    for technology,
    one comedic punch
    to the throat at a time.


  • Add to Technorati Favorites!
  • Subscribe in NewsGator Online
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

Previous Scientific Goodness

  • The Hoff Loses His Hand In The Cloud CityIf you're...

  • Gene Simmons Can Be Sued For Defamation But, Stran...

  • The Hoff Strikes Again - But This Time His Wife St...

  • Want To Cure Global Warming? Make Really Big Sung...

  • Have An Older Brother? You're Probably GayI am in...

  • Everybody Hates YouThis study says Americans have ...

  • Sometimes Science is Not The AnswerI know, I know,...

  • Anderson Cooper Falls Victim To Angelina Jolie's V...

  • Heidi Klum Is Still Not Grabbing My ButtThe surest...

  • Voodoo Priest Predicts World Cup Glory For TogoNow...

Blah, Blah, Blah

  • Subscribe in NewsGator Online
  • unique IPs to-date
  • Top Technology Blogs
  • Site Feed
  • iPing-it!
  • Listed on BlogShares

  • Other Places
    To Find Me

    Powered by Blogger



Even If You're Fat And Rich, You're Still Screwed



Because we needed this study to tell us money can't buy happiness* and this one to tell us fat people actually are not more jolly than the rest of us.

So the next time someone tries to set me up on a date by using the catch-phrase "she is sooooo jolly" I will see right through it. I'll know they mean she is really thin and hot.

So, really, what is the benefit to being fat if you can't sit around smugly eating your second box of Krispy Kreme's secure in the knowledge that you're happier than the rest of us?. I, for one, am happy to hear someone finally did this study. I have gotten tired of fat people always lording it over me because they are supposedly so much happier than I am. And I'm tired of them making jokes about me not shopping in the 'stout' section of department stores. End intolerance toward thin people now.

This is one time I think more money should be thrown at studies. We have improved as a society now that fat people can't continue to act superior because of their innate happiness.

Now they should do a study proving that men with small hands and sports cars don't have small penises. Because I am really fed up with that one too.

*See the full study here. Their studies also show Republicans are happier than Democrats. But that's because we're all Oil Barons.

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 6:03 PM
Email This Cutting-Edge Humor
Direct Link This Post
or Add to del.icio.us or even Digg me.
0 attempts to be as funny as a scientist


Comments on ""

 

post a comment