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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

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3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Anderson Cooper Falls Victim To Angelina Jolie's Vagina



Something must explain his pandering, ridiculous interview - the like of which makes even Katie Couric seem like a hard-hitting journalist.

Witness this bit of in-depth questioning:

COOPER: What was it like actually giving birth? I mean, you had two children through adoption. What was it like?

Yes, he believes Angelina Jolie actually invented childbirth. I know, I know, he should be forgiven because she can make men do crazy things. Who's more of an expert on crazy chicks than me?

Had he consulted me, I could have told him her vagina is like a block of cocaine surrounded by diamond-encrusted tiaras. Even being in the same room is dangerous.

Maybe he thought her vagina would help his career? Silly boy. The career-enhancing vagina belongs to Sienna Miller.

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 2:46 PM
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