Maybe I Was Wrong
Just because I have a Nobel Prize in Awesome doesn't mean I can't admit when I have made a mistake. What mistake could I possibly have made, you wonder?
I will tell you; Nick Lachey. Now, longtime readers of my blog know two things that I know I know; First, and foremost, is that you never cut a b***h too loose - but that is relationship advice for another day. Second, and almost equally important, is that Nick Lachey is an idiot. Let's face it, Jessica Simpson is hot, she's rich, she sings, and she pretty much saved herself for him. And, in return for all that, he spent a lot of time crying and being sensitive and the only kinky thing he could find to do with this girl was wear her shoes.
Okay, so I have changed my mind about the second of those two things. I now do respect Nick Lachey. I didn't have much interest in them as a couple but that's mostly because I thought Nick and Jessica’s Christmas Special was the longest Old Navy commercial EVER - and I hate even short Old Navy commercials. I mistakenly thought he was the weak link. But look at his life since he got dumped. He is going to get half of her money and he has parleyed his heartbreak into fending off wave after wave of hot chicks trying to make him feel better. This kid's life is friggin' CandyLand, only with hot chicks instead of candy.
So, to help me keep track of all his chicks, I have invented Nick Lachey's CandyLand. More after this incredibly large, yet completely essential, graphic.
Okay, so maybe being sensitive is the way to go here. Hey, I am sensitive too, people. I have cried - twice. Once, at the end of Ole Yeller when he dies, and once when my chick yelled at me for sleeping with her sister. But I eventually forgave her for yelling at me. So I am sensitive and I can let go of the hurt.