The Second Coming Is Here
And no, I am not just some crazy guy standing on the street corner saying it. I know it must be true because Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had a baby and they have decided it must be so.
This young girl ( a girl for a Messiah - how progressive ) is named Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. Now, I have read the Old Testament. Still, I felt I needed to look it up just the same because a man of advancing years can't rely on great physique, good lucks and charm forever. Sometimes he needs facts and the only place to go for facts on the Old Testament is the Jews, since they wrote it. Sure as I am sitting here Shiloh still means Messiah. And Nouvel means new, at least if you make up your own spellings the way celebrities can.
So there you have it; New Messiah Jolie Pitt. Sleep easy, people. The genetically perfect creation of Pitt and Jolie was already going to have a God complex. Now she has a reason. She actually is God. I hope she likes science. Sorry about that global warming thing.
Still my favorite quote on this subject: "Remember how Scrooge McDuck used to sit on huge piles of money and laugh? That's this kid, except instead of money, it's genes."