Heidi Klum Is Still Not Grabbing My Butt The surest sign that God has a sense of humor is that Seal is throwing Heidi Klum around a Sheraton right now and I am writing this blog. Not only that, but she grabs his butt like this in public: Number of times any woman, much less Heidi Klum, has grabbed my butt like that in public: still 0. Number of times my butt has been better than Seal's: 8 bazillion and counting. And he has knocked her up again. I am all for pregnancy. I am mostly certainly all for pregnancies involving me - but I am not sure Seal needs to be propagating any more. Heidi Klum disagrees, of course, but she isn't that smart. Heck, she didn't even know how to smile until someone paid her $20,000 a day to do it. Contrast that with Bryan Singer, who is so smart he can say things like "Superman is probably the most heterosexual character in any movie I've ever made" with a straight face and a few people will believe him. Listen Bryan, here is some obvious advice for you: If you have to go on record publicly as saying your movie character is not gay, you probably made him look gay. When The Advocate does a whole article on how gay your character is - well, okay, I will give you that one. They think everyone is gay. Last but not least among humorous things to think about is a Van Halen reunion tour. I guess David Lee Roth's "Will do splits for food" sign really worked.