DC Comics Thinks Only Lesbians Read Batman
Batwoman is back!! The hero you have missed since 1979 is finally returning to DC Comics. She's tall, dressed in black ... and she's a lesbian.
Yes, a lesbian. Apparently there is some controversy in this but I can tell you aging scientists aren't exactly against the idea. A 5'10" girl wearing a skin-tight leather bat suit and confused about her sexuality? My Bat-A-Rang is already cocked and ready to be thrown to the nearest comic book shop.
You may not know this, but I am something of a Batwoman expert. Let's face it, anyone with this movie poster in his bedroom and a picture of his chick dressed like so on his nightstand is into Batwoman:
Last year, I moderated a panel on female empowerment during the Worldwide Batwoman Conference and I can tell you that the number one topic during the discussion was her sexuality. We were as confused as she apparently is. Here is an example from the minutes:
Dorkwad: "Batwoman's sexuality shouldn't be manipulated and exploited just to sell a few comic books. It isn't like they took a risk with a major character, they are just using Batwoman to sell some books and then they can kill her off or make her straight again or something. Besides, isn't she hot? I thought only ugly chicks were lesbians."
Gaywad: "Are you kidding? This is DC. They'll just have a mini-series called Crisis on Counter-Culture Earths or whatever to sort all this sexuality business out a few years from now. DC is nothing if not committed to causing upheaval in 60 years of continuity every so often. Plus, she'll be the tall one in the lesbian relationship. They're allowed to be hot."
Naturally, I was there to make sure all sides came together. Keeping that kind of hostility in the closet isn't good for close-knit communities like the Batwoman fans of the world.
Moderator: "For too long, factionalism has divided the Batwoman community, senselessly pitting dorkwad against gaywad in bitter inter-wad disputes. Thanks to efforts on both sides, we can look forward to the day when the -wads of this great nation can all sit down together and play HeroClix at the table of brotherho ... errrr, sisterhood."
So we settled things at the Conference and decided we were okay with the idea of a hot, lesbian Batwoman. DC is taking the high road, of course.
"This is not just about having a gay character," explained Dan DiDio, vice president and executive editor at DC. "We're trying for overall diversity in the DC universe. We have strong African-American, Hispanic and Asian characters. We're trying to get a better cross-section of our readership and the world."
So there you have it. The three asians, blacks and hispanics who actually read Batman comics can now feel better about their place in the world because DC has lumped them in with ... lesbians.
"We wanted to make her a more unique personality than others in the Bat-family. That's one of the reasons we went in this direction."
Huh? 'More unique personality?' Okay, anyone who writes comic books and uses a term like that doesn't need to be kicked around by me. I am sure that in high school plenty of helpful scientists robbed him of his dignity ( and his pants ) but, seriously Dan, if you want to make a different female comic book character, make her not look fantastic in skin-tight leather.
Oh, who am I kidding? This is BATWOMAN, people. Asking her not to look fantastic in skin-tight leather is like asking me not to grace this blog with the dark genius of Dostoyevsky and the divine humor of Pynchon.