Kate Beckinsale Assuages Her Heartbreak Over Not Having Me By Turning Muslim Or just covering herself in a burkha to hide her shame. Or she was using that droll British humor on unsuspecting journalists. I basically like Kate Beckinsale. She makes crap movies but she has the kind of classic movie star face you never get tired of seeing. Plus, she is willing to strip on webcam pretty much on command. The value of that can't be understated when you're off on a business trip. Granted, I am not buying her whole woe is me, my butt is fat routine any more than anyone else is, but I'm sure it got her thousands of responses telling her that she looks great in a skin-tight latex catsuit. Heck, I could have told her that. Well, I did tell her that but it was while she was hitting on me and playing the Astro Blasto video game surrounded by little people who don't speak our language. Underworld Evolution came out this weekend and pretty much killed Penis Party Homo On The Range Brokeback Mountain at the box office, which will be surprising to Hollywood types. They probably can't understand why American men would rather see Kate Beckinsale kicking butt in hot clothes instead of macho icons being ridiculed all over the country. Or by me. Whichever is more. Not that I'm homophobic, I just think the movie could have been a lot funnier. And I leave the homophobia to American Idol.