Witches At War With Each Other Pagans, Witches, Wiccans, Celtic Druids, threats written in some language called Theban. Jesus H. double-barrelled Christ, we must be talking about Florida. Jill Pagan - apparently her real name - had her door attacked and found a note written in a language apparently understood exclusively by other witches. That's this Theban thing I mentioned. She says it's a hate crime inflicted on her by cranky, anti-social witches. What a surprise that overweight women who own a lot of cats because they "understand them" better than humans would have conflicts with other crazy harpies in their community. "Someone knew damn well that I was a witch and that I would recognize Theban for what it was," Pagan said, angry at what she calls a hate crime on her Belvedere Lane home. "This sounds like an internal thing between other people of her faith," said Bob Engborg, a retired Daytona Beach police officer who specializes in strange and unusual crimes that involve occult beliefs. "They don't like her and the work she is doing or the way she is doing the work." So Jill, heres some advice. Stop reading from the Book of the Dead and sacrificing squirrels and stuff. You just need a nice relationship with a man and to bake a few pies. That would settle you right down.