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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Nissan Makes Paint That Heals Scratches All By Itself



For $400 extra on its future cars, Nissan will provide you with its new Scratch Guard Coat that is not only more resistant to common wear but also heals itself in about a week.

Isn't this how "The Terminator" movie started? This gives me an excuse to start building one of those cool dune buggies with the M-60 turret on the back. I am going down swinging ... and looking really cool, because I do love to blow up some stuff.

If Nissan really wants to improve their cars, they should make one that automatically drives when an Asian woman is behind the wheel.

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