Everything You Need To Know About "Aeon Flux"
Well, here is all you really need to know. It will suck. And not just because it has Charlize Theron, whose judgment is so lacking she dates Stuart Townshend and therefore can't be all that smart about movie scripts either.
No, it will also suck because even the cartoon was overrated swill and this won't be anywhere near as good as that. A lack of advance previews for critics also usually means a cinematic crash-and-burn of Hindenburg proportions. Young dumb people sometimes think they will feel smarter if they watch esoteric mumbo-jumbo. This certainly fit the bill of cartoons-that-made-no-sense-so-therefore-must-be- intelligent ten years ago. So why bother to make a live-action version now?
I can't imagine a reason. Then again, I can't imagine a reason I am even writing about it, other than my general happiness that it gave me the chance to insult Stuart Townshend twice in one day.
Oh wait, now I remember. The Boston Globe was kind enough to create a little cartoon thingie telling you everything you need to know about Aeon Flux. So, quick, before it disappears from theaters.
And tell me you can't look at this pic and see how perfect the casting is. I wonder if they will retract Academy Awards if the movie is bad enough?