Johnny Depp Thinks I Should Touch Myself I think unless he's a tall hottie with a deviant streak who will exploit me and then bring me Cheez-Doodles he should stop ordering me around. But it isn't bad advice, actually. In an interview in Britain's Loaded Magazine, Depp laments fame and encourages us all to masturbate instead of thinking about him. "This is a rumour-filled society and if people want to sit around and talk about who I've dated, then I'd say they have a lot of spare time and should consider other topics or even masturbation. I don't care if they take my photograph. I don't care if they take Vanessa's photograph. We're adults. But when they start taking photos of my kids and putting them in their magazines, that I can't support." I agree completely about not thinking about him, especially since something magical made Pirates of the Caribbean co-star Keira Knightley suddenly seem hot.