Lindsay Lohan Has A Crush - On Angelina Jolie Sufferin' Jehosephat, I will be honest with all of you and tell you that I have absolutely masturbated to fantasies not nearly as good as Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie in pillow-fight-related nakedness. But I once masturbated about fantasies of Margaret Thatcher and Whoopi Goldberg, so take that for what it's worth. Nothing in the world would make me happier than the idea of a lesbian orgy with these two. Except maybe Cheez-Doodles. Cheez-Doodles make me pretty happy.