Woman Hires Hit Man To Steal Cheese
If there's one thing my career dating supermodels has taught me, it's that nothing gives a woman the strength and courage of a deranged lion like a big chunk of cocaine. You wouldn't think an 85 lb. elf like Kate Moss could do much damage to a guy my size, but when she head-butts you because you are both between her and her cocaine and you didn't tell her how beautiful she was the requisite 100th time that day things can go to a bad place really fast.
But chalk one up for a woman even dumber than Kate Moss. Jessica Sandy Booth has been arrested for hiring a hit man to steal cheese. The cheese was owned by Mexicans so maybe that's why she assumed it was cocaine. Apparently Mexican men don't eat queso fresco cheese but they sprinkle cocaine liberally in their cuisine.
She then compounds her stupidity by hiring an undercover cop to kill the men and steal the cocaine. Hiring a fake hit man to kill guys who aren't drug dealers in possession of cheese she thinks is cocaine. Ain't that poetry?