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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Why The Steelers Are The Best Team In The NFL - No Cheerleaders



Don't get me wrong. If I have to see cheerleaders I want them to be lesbian cheerleaders who have sex in public restrooms and then punch protesting patrons on the way out. And, to be sure, the overall American interest level in these Carolina Panthers girls has quickly catapulted beyond the meager interest in the Raiderettes or whatever they call the cheerleaders for the Dallas Cowboys. But that's only to see what these nutso chicks will do next. And in hopes that even more violence-filled panty-flying nakedness will ensue in the next town the Panthers play.

Cheerleaders are an anachronism under the best of circumstances. Sure, in the 1970s when sports on TV was newer and interest in the NFL was ramping to peak levels, some cheesecake titillation went a long way. But I can see better than that on basic cable now so their only option is to get even more shocking and outrageous or fade into history.

The XFL tried having sexier cheerleaders and even that wasn't enough to save them. Though I got a lap dance in the stands from one of them, so the XFL wasn't all bad.

Article Here

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