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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Happy Veteran's Day



Admittedly my military experience was kinda tame compared to modern times. But that's because Reagan was President. And no one wanted to screw with Reagan. Heck, when there was even a hint that the Libyans blew up a German discotheque and killed Americans, he sent F-111 love missiles and whacked a few of Qaddafi's kids. So you didn't mess with Reagan. You think Rambo II could have been made when Clinton was President?

Now, my actual combat experience was pretty much limited to the Battle of Frick Park in Pittsburgh, PA. The high point of that was watching Bob Early have simulated sex with a tree. Upside down. And you know what wasn't easy. But I wasn't in fear for my life either.

So, thanks guys. And, the rest of you, be sure to buy a Veteran a beer.

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 7:30 AM
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