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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Greenpeace Sticks It To The Man By Destroying A Coral Reef Before Global Warming Can



Puffy, cigar-smoking executives from Greenpeace covered their heads and refused to answer questions from the media when it was discovered their military-industrial policies had resulted in shocking levels of damage to Tubbataha Reef Marine Park, in the Sulu Sea, 400 miles south-east of Manila.

Greenpeace agreed to pay the insignificant $7,000 fine levied but blamed the accident on outdated maps provided by the Philippines government. Competing environmental group The Sierra Club issues a press release from its own skyscraper contending that the damage should have been millions.

Not so, said Greenpeace. It was just an accident. Not like the Exxon Valdez and all that other stuff, which were done on purpose by big oil companies to charge more money for less oil. An ACCIDENT.

"The chart indicated we were a mile and a half" from the coral reef when the ship ran aground, regional Greenpeace official Red Constantino told AFP news agency. "This accident could have been avoided if the chart was accurate," he said, adding, however, that Greenpeace felt "responsible" for the damage.

Responsible?!? You ran your friggin' boat into a coral reef. How could you not feel responsible?

Ironically, the Greenpeace divers were at the Tubbataha park, off the coast of Palawan island, to inspect the effect of global warming on the coral reef. Now they get to inspect the effect of ramming a really big ship into it.

Article Here

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