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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

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5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

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3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Would Female Orgasms Kill Men?



 
Always thought women were the stronger sex? Okay, I admit it, me too.
 
But I am inclined to be a little skeptical when someone pimping their book cites ancillary evidence rather than studies so even if the logic is good I tend to maintain a healthy disbelief.
 
Ryuichi Kaneko and Dr. Kunio Kitamura, two of the co-authors of "Sex no Subete ga Wakaru Hon (Everything You Need to Know About Sex)" write in the Mainichi Daily News:
 
When an orgasm has been achieved through sex, you can measure theta waves. These are also said to cause the "running high" feeling of euphoria experienced sometimes by marathon runners. If theta waves are taken as a criterion, the entire brain emits theta waves when women reach an orgasm that are close on 10 times stronger than when men climax. So, if theta waves are an indication of an orgasm's strength, then women experience an orgasm that is physically impossible for men to go through. Putting it a little crudely, if the intensity of a woman's orgasm was played through a man's brain, there's a danger that the shock to his system would kill him. That risk makes it impossible to experiment on a man at the moment. And men can never become women.
 
That's right, people - the theta waves for women are 10X what they are for men.  This explains why some women have had actual vaginal explosions when dating scientists - there is only so much pleasure even women can sustain.


 
But let's examine this theta waves business.  It's accepted that delta and theta activity in the autonomic nervous system will increase during pleasurable events but because it's sex, and sex is difficult to map subjectively, I don't want to just assume cause and effect.  I decided to go off the map and read up on Kundalini, which Hindus say is the coiled up energy at the base of the spine in the root Chakra.
 
Gopi Krishna says this Kundalini is terrific stuff and accounts for almost everything.
 
Brainmapping The Orgasm 
 
In Kundalini And Sex they write:
According to a principle called reciprocal innervation, an extremely high activation of the frontal hypothalamus and thus of the parasympathetic system, will create an overflow of energy activating the posterior hypothalamus which stimulates the sympathetic nervous system. This will make the energy rise to higher centers and this process is accompanied by very fast activity in the EEG (beta and gamma wave frequencies up to at least 42Hz). 
 
That's right.  You have sex at DC.   It fell on, naturally, the Japanese to introduce a whole slew of products that use electricity to impact these waves in a direct fashion.  The links are not safe for work so I don't include any them here.  I even found an article discussing theta waves by Robert Anton Wilson, famous for co-authoring The Illuminatus Trilogy.
 
What I could not find was a study showing any kind of direct correlation; namely, something showing anything beyond theta wave increase being a by-product.   If one is out there, I am sure one of the experts at Scientific Blogging will let me know.  So at least given current studies it's scientifically unproven that a female orgasm would kill men.  Yes, men are wussies in lots of ways, but we can handle sex.
 
In the meantime, women can continue to have those spectacular theta-driven orgasms and I can continue to write about them.
 
Because every woman wants a man writing this article about her orgasms. 

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Comments on "Would Female Orgasms Kill Men?"

 

Blogger Chris Wilson said ... (1:32 PM) : 

Bravo. Well constructed post.

From the dawn of time, man has set his sites on things that are beyond him. This is why we explore and test the limits of what's possible. This is why some men, actually a special breed of man, have been willing to risk their lives in pursuit of science, pushing back the envelope of what is possible.

I would like to volunteer for any and all experiments that would attempt to prove this theory. Mankind deserves to know the answer and I would like to join that special breed of man who throws caution to the wind in a galant subversion of ignorance. Just call me the Chuck Yeager of sex research.

 

Blogger Jay said ... (1:36 PM) : 

After Chris is killed off by this experiment, I am willing to be next in line to sacrifice myself for the sake of science.

Oh, and the Illuminatus Trilogy is officially some of the worst stuff I've ever read. Except for maybe some of the sex parts.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (8:43 AM) : 

*chuckle* So, 10x eh? That explains a lot...

 

Blogger Chief Scientist said ... (8:29 PM) : 

Chris, also Yeager never saw a plane he didn't want to fly.

JJ, the Illuminatus was great because in the pre-internet days just the volume of research to make all that mumbo-jumbo was astounding.

Bug, yeah, yeah, and yours are probably better than most. Use your power wisely.

 

Blogger The Grunt said ... (10:05 PM) : 

Heh, this post reminded me of the scene in Napoleon Dynamite where Uncle Rico uses his "Time Machine", which hooked up to his groin.

I think the trade off for intensity with women is that women may never get there, ever, if your man can't give it to you, or you are totally oblivious to anything sexual about yourself. The guy almost always gets his.

 

Blogger jinx protocol said ... (4:50 AM) : 

Wait wait wait...women can have orgasms?

 

Blogger Chief Scientist said ... (8:17 AM) : 

Not with us they can't!

 

Blogger jinx protocol said ... (8:29 PM) : 

...but I bet if we could hook them up to all kinds of machines - like in the experiment - then it would work...yeah, that's what I'm going with.

 

Blogger fuckgoogle said ... (10:52 PM) : 

Shock to our system....*volunteers self for testing*.

 

Blogger Chief Scientist said ... (3:01 PM) : 

911, they're talking about frying your brain, guy.

I can understand if it was just your weewee - hell, mine has survived all sorts of human rights violations.

But my brain ... I don't mess with that.

 

Blogger j4ur14 said ... (9:52 AM) : 

ey!

It would be a nice way to get death.

 

Anonymous How to turn a girl on said ... (7:26 PM) : 

Please allow me to express my biggest appreciation for this great article you have written. You are truly a great expert in this field. The important tips imply a lot to me and also my family. Please understand that your kindness to share these guidelines with people like us all during this difficult time meant a lot to our family.

 

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