Golden Fiddle Makes The Honorary Scientists List
 FADE IN: INT. A BEACH HOUSE BATHROOM, MALIBU, CALIFORNIA. NIGHT Matthew Mcconaughey and Lance Armstrong shower, shave, wax, pluck, gel, and dress together before for a big night at Sky Bar in Los Angeles. LANCE: Hey, Matt. MATT: What can I do you for, LA? LANCE: You gonna wear the linen shirt tonight? MATT: That’s right. LANCE: Yeah, me too. Hey, Matt. MATT: What now, amigo? LANCE: How many buttons you gonna leave unbuttoned? MATT: Well, my friend. I’m fixin’ to go four deep tonight. Give the ladies a little taste. LANCE: Yeah, right. Four sounds about right… Hey, Matt. MATT: Che cosa ora mio Amico? LANCE: You gonna roll your sleeves up? MATT: To right below the elbow. LANCE: Hey, Matt. MATT: What now, Sir Lancelot? LANCE: You wearing those same shorts you woke up in? MATT: Afirmativo. LANCE: What about foot wear? Flip-flops? MATT: Always! LANCE: Left hand? MATT: In po-keto. LANCE: Dammit! MATT: Easy tiger. What’s got you down, now? LANCE: Ah, it’s just another Nike contract here that says I have to keep wearing this stupid f--king bracelet for 3 more years. MATT: Man, it’s the same bulls--t they tried to pull in my day. If it ain’t that piece of paper, there’s some other choice they’re gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Lance Armstrong wants to do, man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they’re gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin’ man, L-I-V-I-N. LANCE: Livin’ strong. MATT: That’s right. Livin’ strong. LANCE: You’re right. I’m sorry… Okay, I’m ready. How do I look? MATT: You look like the American dream, my friend. LANCE: Sweet. Now let’s go f--k some underage Hollywood pussy! MATT: All right, all right, all right. LANCE: Hey Matt. MATT: What now, compadre? LANCE: Do you think we should call Jake? MATT: … LANCE: … MATT: … BOTH: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!! FADE TO BLACK THE END Because sometimes scientists concede that civilians are really funny too, and Golden Fiddle created a classic. |
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Comments on "Golden Fiddle Makes The Honorary Scientists List"
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Chris Wilson said ... (8:41 AM) :
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Mo Diggs said ... (10:18 AM) :
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Mo Diggs said ... (10:18 AM) :
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Anonymous said ... (11:04 AM) :
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jinx protocol said ... (7:45 PM) :
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The Grunt said ... (11:40 PM) :
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Anonymous said ... (8:19 PM) :
post a commentI get the impression that they also engage in a sack check prior to hitting the clubs.
Thanks for the recommendation. I caught a 5 second video of Lynda Carter running in her Wonder Woman suit, now if I can only get 5 more seconds alone.
Uh, do you have a permalink for that skit? Or did you write it yourself?
Uh, do you have a permalink for that skit? Or did you write it yourself?
Mr. Chris, you need a laptop. Just announce you are 'going number two' and head on in.
Mr. Mo, you're going to steal my post and not even go all the way to the bottom to see the link???
No, you've got it wrong. They had to leave their shirts unbuttoned so they could get their inflated ego heads through them, and even then it's a stretch not to rip the shirt.
They were accompanied by Brad Pitt's balls, which also wore kahki shorts and an unbuttoned white linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
I KNEW IT!