Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Bringing you the dark genius of Dostoyevsky
combined with the divine, intelligent humor of Pynchon
since spring 2002


What Cool Scientists Are Wearing



  • Click Here To Get Your Own Cool Science Guy Stuff!
Sites Cool Scientists Are Reading
  • Science & Supermodels
  • Scientific Blogging
  • Build Cool Stuff!
  • We Are Scientists
  • Sex And The Beach
  • The Grunt
  • The Mighty Dyckerson
  • Blog Portland
  • Mo Comedy
  • RevRee
  • Chatoyance
  • Crystal Village
  • Misogynous Portuguese
  • M-Visions
  • Forever Geek
  • Geek Logik
  • Michelle's Spell
  • Issy
Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
  • Subscribe

  • Making the world safe
    for technology,
    one comedic punch
    to the throat at a time.


  • Add to Technorati Favorites!
  • Subscribe in NewsGator Online
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

Previous Scientific Goodness

  • The Top 10 Mysteries Of Science Part II

  • Your Jedi Mind-Trick Moment For September 12th

  • Hunting Scientists In China

  • Remastered "Star Trek" - Set Phasers For Fun

  • Have $25,000 burning a hole in your pocket?

  • Evil Veterinarians Retaliate Against Snitch Cat

  • This Is Supposed To Be A Bad Thing?

  • Science Detemines The Discovery Channel Is Bad For...

  • Science Gets You More Sex - Again

  • How Mathematicians Started World War 3

Blah, Blah, Blah

  • Subscribe in NewsGator Online
  • unique IPs to-date
  • Top Technology Blogs
  • Site Feed
  • iPing-it!
  • Listed on BlogShares

  • Other Places
    To Find Me

    Powered by Blogger

The Top 10 Mysteries Of Science Part I



10. Benjamin Underwood can't see for squat but he gets around by making clicking noises and using echolocation to visualize the obstacles his radar sends back. Unless he was hit by a truck full of radioactive material and now wears red tights and carries a billy club, science has no explanation for this:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Want to impress me, Ben? Read this blog.

9. Telephone telepathy. How is it that sometimes you are thinking about someone and they call? Egads, can that be possible? Of course it can ... it's like wondering how it is possible that men think about sex and sometimes they get sex. If you are thinking about people all of the time but only know 50, chances are one of them will call when you happen to be thinking about them.

Want to impress me, audio guys? Explain how Lady Scientist magically knows an ex-girlfriend called "just to say hello."

8. Some people can't accept that humans are smarter than animals. This panda accidentally crushed one of the twins she birthed. Which isn't all that smart, since she didn't even implicate the butler.

Want to impress me, zookeepers? Teach pandas to imprison siblings they don't like behind an iron mask, like humans do.

7. Reading makes Justin Timberlake dizzy. Clearly he has a vision problem and is an illiterate sock monkey. He is surrounded by handlers who couldn't diagnose that for him?

Want to impress me, music industry? Explain how women who see Justin Timberlake get soooo dizzy their underwear falls off.

6. TV critics are dumb. Here are some quotes from critics when Star Trek debuted in 1966:

"[T]oo clumsily conceived and poorly developed to rate as an A-1 effort."--Boston Globe

"One may need something of a pointed head to get involved."--New York Post.

"Disappointingly bizarre hour...things better improve or this won't be a lengthy mission."--Houston Chronicle.

Want to impress me, TV critics? Explain how anyone ever thought this chick was hot:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Continued Tomorrow ...

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 7:44 AM
Email This Cutting-Edge Humor
Direct Link This Post
or Add to del.icio.us or even Digg me.
4 attempts to be as funny as a scientist


Comments on "The Top 10 Mysteries Of Science Part I"

 

Blogger Jay said ... (10:33 AM) : 

Hopefully part II will include lots of scientific pictures of Jolene Blalock.

 

Blogger jinx protocol said ... (3:43 PM) : 

Want to impress me? Help me figure out how to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar without getting it on my hands.

 

Blogger Chris Wilson said ... (4:54 PM) : 

I think if you could scientifically explain the mysterious piss shiver, a nobel prize is in your future. I might even through in $20.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (7:09 PM) : 

Scientists don't take requests.

Well, maybe Jolene Blalock requests. And the peanut butter thing is easy - we make chicks do it for us.

And if Mr. Chris and I gave $20 each and a Nobel Prize is at stake, what should be on the line? That's right, Carmen Electra's Strip Aerobics. The fact that she hasn't won yet for, frankly, revolutionizing fitness videos shows they are just out of touch.

 

post a comment