Remastered "Star Trek" - Set Phasers For Fun

I know The Next Generation had its day in the sun but anyone - and I will brook no argument on this matter - who contends that the original is not the greatest sci-fi series of all time instantly loses their nerd cred around here. So if you are a TNG nerd - no, wait, if you can name more than three characters on any one of the later spin-offs - here is your chance for redemption. Episodes of the original Star Trek are being digitally remastered and will be heading into syndication again in honor of its 40th anniversary. Since you're all scientists you know that "digital remastering" means pretty much anything you want it to mean, like "smurf" does to smurfs or "celibate" does to Paris Hilton. The folks doing the work want to assure you there won't be wholesale bastardization, like that guy G--rge L-c-s ( name omitted so he doesn't appear in a column of brimstone and fire and suck my soul straight to Hell ) did with Star Wars. "We're taking great pains to respect the integrity and style of the original," Michael Okuda, a scenic-art supervisor on the Star Trek films and spinoffs for the past 18 years, told TVGuide.com. "Our goal is to always ask ourselves: What would [creator Gene] Roddenberry have done with today's technology?" Blah, blah, blah. I want to see a big pleather Captain's chair and an Enterprise that looks like a Frisbee with a couple of batteries attached to it. And they'll now be in High-Definition. Whatever that means. Like digital remastering, unless you have digital masters you're putting pearls on a pig so High Definition here will mean what CD versions of old music meant - the defects just become a lot more noticeable. However, you'll finally get a chance to see your favorite sci-fi heroine in HD: Oops, wrong show. I mean: No, wait: Okay, the girls in the original Star Trek weren't all that hot. So if they're going to digitally enhance something in the show, they can start here: Science fiction sure has come a long way since then.