Avril Lavigne Gets Her Starter Marriage Out Of The Way
As long time readers know, the countdown to Avril Lavigne turning 30 started a while ago. Scientists have been waiting for her to get to an age where she might have a reasonable maturity level and the kind of rapier wit necessary to stay in a long-term relationship with men much smarter than she is.
So we welcome the news that she has married young. Nothing causes a girl to grow up like having her idealistic notions about relationships shattered and, by marrying a Canadian rock star, she's going to be a lot more appreciative of an actual man when she gets to be around age 28 and tires of him.
Why would we wait for her? Two reasons. First, she looks like this:
Yes, even at 21. Imagine how good she will look at 30. And she seems to be really sweet. We have only seen her on Punk'd and she was an absolute doll and that's good enough for science. Nothing tells you a person's real personality like how they act when they don't know Ashton Kutcher is making fun of them.
Second, she has married a Canadian guy in some band called Sum 41. Canadian. Rock star. Yeah. We can't speak for you, but when a girl this hot marries some guy in a band scientists have never listened to, we think the countdown to failure has begun.