The Endorsements For Friday:
Opera.The grand musical phenomenon, not the greatest web browser in the world. Why opera? Because Sophie Monk was training to be an opera singer before someone told her she looks like this:
THE LOOP TV show. Not because it is funny, though it is sorta funny, but mostly because whenever someone in the bar orders a Vodka tonic Sarah Mason gets up on the bar and works it. All you need for successful entertainment is a hook and that hooked me:
Sting. Not because he's Tantric. I always thought that was bulls**t anyway, but because it turns out he is a total deviant. He must have a new CD coming out because I didn't even know he was still alive and suddenly he is getting all this publicity.
Blondes. Because Sweety asked me if I was suddenly off blondes due to me writing that in a comment about a week ago. She reads the comments? I didn't even know she had this URL. I'd better tone it down before she reads about me and Kate Beckinsale.
Barbara Eden. Because she is the Jeannie that can never be equalled. We all decided here some time ago that Jennifer Garner should be Jeannie if they must make a movie and I stand by that decision. Then again, we also determined that all Iraqi women are ninjas and no one listened then either.
Whiny brats. Because a study shows that whiny kids grow up to be conservatives. Now, I wasn't a whiny kid - my dad was a little too old school to put up with that - but I liked things done a certain way. My mother always talks about what a late developer I was and how I learned to walk late and I never talked at all until one time we were in a 7-11 and we left without getting a Slurpee.
"Mom, I would like a Slurpee," I apparently said. She asked me,of course, why I had never talked before.
"Because you always knew to get me one," she says I replied.
Young Jeezy. Because he got arrested after a shootout in Florida. Which means I had a reason to wear my "I got that snow man" shirt to the gym today and pretty much offend everyone. Except the supermodels, who saw it and got naked.
Relationship advice. Because what would your weekend be without my expert help? This one is for the men: Let her beat you at something once in a while — poker, chess, Literati — and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.