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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"
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More Jeannie News!



I Dream Of Jeannie Season 1 is out on DVD. What is left to say about Barbara Eden in that cool outfit? Not much. I am buying the set and a case of Astro-Glide.

But before I do that, should you have a desire to be a hot, subservient girl obeying my every wish while being platinum blonde and in your 30s - and should you like that experience captured on DVD - I am accepting applications to audition.

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