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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"
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Happy Easter



Be sure to enjoy a wholesome Crusade. I know I will:

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Even if you don't admire my Photoshop skills, you have to admit I don't look as silly as a British guy who signs up to be crucified and then claims God told him at the last minute not to do it.

Maybe I'm crazy but I bet God didn't have as much to do with it as watching nine Filipinos before him get whipped and nailed to crosses. That would make me get down on my knees and have a religious epiphany too.

How did the crowd react? They boo'ed him, of course. If I go all that way to see radical Catholics re-enact the Crucifixion you can bet nothing would make me happier than seeing some smarmy British journalists take some spikes to the hands.

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Comments on "Happy Easter"

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (5:39 PM) : 

*chuckle* Happy Easter ;)

 

Blogger Educator said ... (6:02 PM) : 

Wow. I wonder if God spared him because he was British. I mean, that was their whole angle in the beginning anyway, right?

Happy Easter.

I would say something dirty about finding eggs, but I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing.

 

Blogger Malnurtured Snay said ... (6:42 PM) : 

Those filipinos are fucking CRAZY. And, y'know, devoted.

 

Blogger Chief Scientist said ... (10:23 PM) : 

I get not one but THREE comments the first day I post??? I thought people had given up on this but, no, I get one from a cutie with a delightful penchant for older men, a wonderfully androgynous type with a deviant streak AND someone new???

It IS an Easter miracle ...

 

Blogger Educator said ... (7:10 AM) : 

I'm female :P

And of course you have readers, it's a trade agreement on this thing. You read mine, I'll read yours. Besides, you're hilarious at times.

 

Blogger Chief Scientist said ... (1:47 PM) : 

And a magnificent female you are!

I do read your site. I read everyone's ... but if it's not appropriate to be funny or scientific, I don't comment.

Plus, if you write more often than once EVERY FOUR MONTHS, I might get in the habit.

 

Blogger Educator said ... (12:31 PM) : 

Yes, yes - but I am usually swamped with spreading my genius elsewhere. The blog is where any leftover goes. I will make it a mission to post more frequently....soon....maybe in the next few months ;P

 

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