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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Why It's Okay To Make Fun Of Tom Cruise



Because Katie Holmes had a birthday party and THIS is the photo they chose to release:

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Apparently he couldn't put his hand up her ass like you do with normal puppets so he had to control her by her hair.

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 1:46 PM
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Anonymous Anonymous said ... (3:27 PM) : 

Maybe he was trying to keep her hair out of the fire? She's not old enough to use matches.

 

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