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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Patrick Swayze Wants To Be Cool Again



That's right, Patrick Swayze is making a rap album. I haven't been this excited since MC Hammer signed with Death Row Records to do hardcore gangsta.

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Swayze recently said he was experimenting with “rap rhythms as an emotional undercurrent for ballads.” Whatever the hell that means. I think he should be out there making Red Dawn II. I giggle at the thought of those Cubans invading us every single time I watch the original.

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