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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Why All The Shock?



In Neillsville, WI a man has pleaded guilty to sexual relations with a cow. It's Wisconsin. How do you think they make all that cheese? Because the cows are happy.

This guy Hart would stop at a farm after the bar closed, proving that if you drink enough almost anything looks good. And he was getting it 2-4 times in a week. Heck, I'll get me a cow if I can throw a pretty dress on her - especially if she's giving it up 4 times a week.

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Comments on ""

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4:31 PM) : 

Guy goes to a remote town where they only have sex with sheep. He is reluctant at first but decides to deal with it and he dresses one up in lipstick and a dress and walks downtown with her.

"You hypocrites," he says, "Why stare at me? I am just being open about it."

"We don't care about that, sonny," an old man replies. "But that's the Sheriff's girl you're with."

 

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