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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Mapping The Genome



It isn't Jurassic Park but it could be. Scientists have begun to map the genome of the woolly mammoth and this has led to speculation that the creatures could be resurrected.

The easiest way to prevent extinct creatures from being created again is to simply not pay for it. The scientists have only mapped about 1% of the genome so far and would need serious funding to do the rest. Even when that's accomplished, you can't just stick that information into a big E-Z Bake Oven and pop out a woolly mammoth. They can't even do that with modern DNA much less an extinct creature. But imagine if you could. I'd pay a lot of money to bring back Rita Hayworth.

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Yes, I do actually have a framed "Gilda" poster in my house. No, I am not a gay man.

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