Monday morning with coffee If you like MTV Cribs, you are an idiot. Without it, though, we wouldn't get this Santa version. Weezer guy makes news for staying unmarried for two years. Okay, maybe I will give him a break because he never actually uses the word 'celibate' ... it's a journalist who wrote that headline and we know how stupid they can be. Weezer guy has abstained from sex for 2.5 years now, as if that is some sort of achievement. Heck, I went for 15 years once and I was really, really not trying. It ain't like he abstained from orgasms. That would be a miracle. I haven't had one since 2AM and I am already a little testy. Kate Moss may have given me AIDS. That'll get me in hot water with the little woman. Want a $950 cocktail? Yeah, I kinda do too. It's such a ridiculously over-the-top bit of frivolity I am willing to fly to Chicago to do it. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics. Told ya. One gene made white skin. And you thought a Sneetch with a star was controversial. Wait until people get ahold of this concept. U.S. submarine may have toured the Canadian Arctic. Further demonstrating that Canadians are pussies.