10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.
9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.
8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.
7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.
6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"
4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!
3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.
2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!
... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...
1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"
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Elisha Cuthbert Has A BlogI know, I know. Who the hell is Elisha Cuthbert and who cares about her blog? She was basically a useless appendage on "24" last season and is, consequentally, gone. And the first two seasons she was kinda dumpy, but she ruled in The Girl Next Door  and now she pretty much looks like this: That's why you care. |
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