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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Worth Noting



A vampire is running for Governor of Minnesota. If you've never seen a convicted criminal impaled outside the Governor's mansion, you owe it to yourself to move to MN and register to vote.

China claims to have discovered America. These people have barely discovered indoor plumbing.

New source of global warming discovered and ... it's plants! It should be a lot of fun watching environmentalists blame Bush for too many plants.

The search is on to pick The Seven Wonders of the Modern World. Guess how many I have already visited?*

French artists piss off a lot of people. This guy is so upset he literally peed on a Duchamp 'classic.'

Imogen Heap is in Frisco January 26th. if you've never listened, you owe it to yourself.

*Answer to how many I have visited: 6

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