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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Ali G Pulls The Greatest Prank Ever



I knew the guy was good. Heck, he got James Lipton to seem hip. And his show cracks me up. Like that time he made Ralph Nader's temple throb. But no one could have predicted his greatest stunt would be going to the Winter Olympics - in figure skating. But there it was in big, bold headlines on ESPN.

"Sasha Cohen Wins The US Figure Skating Championships." And that is some darn good makeup. Check this out.

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He looks pretty convincing, doesn't he? Now, I know US figure skating is all about reputation, money and appearance rather than skill - that explains how Michelle Kwan got in again. But I assumed there would at least be some testing or performance involved for everyone except Michelle Kwan. But, no, they just heard the name and figured that Ali G must be qualified in order to be there at all and let him bluff his way right through to first place.

Oh, wait. Oops. Ali G is Sasha Baron Cohen. My bad.

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