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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Gillian Anderson Goes Nutso



If you're like me, you have a hard time remembering who Gillian Anderson is. If you look at her picture in the article you might recall she was the smart one on "The X-Files." I don't even bother to post a pic of her because I actually can't find one where she looks hot on all of Google. That's right, Google. The biggest search engine in the universe. 2000 hits on 'queso fresco cheese' recipes but nothing on 'gillian anderson hot.' Speaking of nothing; nothing gets better than d-list actresses on the downside of their careers getting drunk and going apeshit in the small confines of a commercial airline.

Apparently some guy is there with his family and Gillian didn't like the cut of his jib because at one point she tears off his headphones in an intoxicated rage and yelled at him for watching a movie while his wife took care of the kid.

So they moved her to a different seat where she covered herself in a blanket and cried for an hour because no one recognized her.

Now, there is a joke about that in here somewhere but I am not feeling like a very enlightened Buddha today - though I am most days - so I am missing it. Look for a funny edit later. Still, the whole purpose of this blog is to make you laugh. And the easiest way to get a laugh and still not be enlightened is to use a photo of Buddha in a cheap gag on my blog:

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 7:35 PM
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