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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Kerry On Clearing The Air



Teresa Heinz insists she doesn't have to show her tax return because it is an invasion of privacy. There is a long tradition of privacy, she says, because there is a long tradition of privacy.
But they own a home together ... she paid cash for it and in December, 2003 he mortgaged it and loaned his campaign $6.4 Million from those proceeds.

But the interest alone is $200,000 per year ... more than the $158,000 annually he gets as a Senator.

The last time he disclosed his finances, Kerry had a net worth between negative $130,000 to positive $34,995. Yet, his campaign insists he will pay back the loan himself because "Sen. Kerry is a man who has considerable assets," spokesman Michael Meehan explains.

He does? Then why did he mortgage his house at an interest rate that is more than he makes per year?

Sen. Kerry has always maintained a policy of full disclosure. His words to his Senate opponent in 1990: "I think people want to know whether someone they possibly might send to Washington to represent them in the Senate is someone who pays their fair share of taxes,'" Kerry said. "Why is James Rappaport hiding his tax returns?" Kerry asked. "Why is it some people can live up to that standard and he can't? It seems to me that he ought to be able to release those returns and clear the air..."

And then during the recent primaries: "As president, openness will be the hallmark of my administration, not some talking point... The highest office in the land requires the highest level of openness for the American people."

Okay Senator ... who is paying your bills?

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