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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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US Shuts Out Weasels In Iraq



France and Germany - you know who they are - are pissed they won't be able to underbid the 60 nations that helped in Iraq.

They were against the invasion, of course, and Saddam was even convinced they would protect him because of their contracts with Iraq, but now insist it is fair that they be allowed to get money from the US to help rebuild the country they helped subjugate by the tyrant the US removed.

The 60 countries allowed to bid include Britain, Australia, Poland, Japan, Italy, Norway, Spain, Turkey, Jordan, Egypt, South Korea, the Philippines, Romania and Saudi Arabia.

"This won't prevent weasel countries - errr, I mean non-coalition partners - from getting money out of this," said U.S. trade lawyer Roger Schagrin. "Much of the money is expended on materials. A British or U.S. company could get a prime contract and then buy 100 percent French materials. And they really like cheese over there, so France could sell them some of that."

Article Here

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