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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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French Demonstrate Their Love of Peace By Torching Statue of Liberty



And a 9/11 memorial. Bordeaux is a nice place otherwise. Had they been Iraqis, maybe I could understand. Except Iraqis want Hussein gone. If it were Muslims, maybe I could understand but I disagree with any religion that says they have to support any evil dictator over any non-Muslim.

But this was French young people ... who apparently don't understand the concept of liberty. They think freedom of expression only applies to torching McDonalds or defacing a Statue of Liberty replica in Bordeaux. Hatred is always seething under the surface in Europe, waiting to erupt. If it's not Jews, it's Americans. If they are too cowardly to make their opinions known in a public forum, they deface memorials and statues.

Like the Muslim issue, it is expected no one in France will notice this as a problem.

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Michael Moore Loses His Mind



Moore, whose antigun documentary, "Bowling for Columbine," got a statue in the least-watched Academy Award broadcast in history said, ""The best way to make sure no American boys and girls are killed is to bring them home."

Uhhhh ... there were a lot of them at home on September 11th, Mikey. That's part of the problem. Multilateralists pandering to terrorists led to this ... it is solved by making the price too high for anyone to want to undertake it. You think the solution to the terrorist problem is for everyone to become Canadian.

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S.F. Peace Protesters Decide Stealing Construction Equipment and Blocking Traffic Are the Best Way To Stop a US Invasion



Talk about peeing on your own carpet. Frisco ( they hate when we call it that ) is already among the most liberal cities in America ... 70% of them probably already disagree with the war on Iraq. Why infuriate them by punishing them when they already agree with you?

So these few hundred people made a nuisance of themselves and committed felonies to accomplish what? Did they think Bush was going to turn the troops around because a few smelly Californians clog traffic?

Even Willie Brown, not exactly a bastion of right-wing rhetoric, said, ""I've got to assume that these people are so misguided that they are actually aiding the enemy by doing what they are doing. Most of these people who are being arrested and have been arrested, probably more than 75 or 80 percent, are not San Franciscans. I just wish they'd stay in their own communities and protest rather than put the expense on us."

Of course, but they wouldn't get on the news then.

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Europeans Find Bugging Device In UN Headquarters



Belgians immediately blamed "the Americans." Now, this is the same country that won't let a known murderous pedophile go on trial ... because they can't aquit him given the evidence and if they convict him he will disclose the names of the government members that used the child prostitution ring he ran with the victims before he killed them.

So it's no surprise the Belgians think everyone else is just like them.

What they don't realize is that if they were American bugs, they wouldn't have found them.

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Not So Bright Anti-War Protester Redux



This one managed to fall off the Golden Gate bridge, where he was hanging a banner protesting war in Iraq -- illegal vandalism, I believe, in the best of circumstances.

Where is all the security I keep hearing about? Supposedly they're searching cars on 101 but this idiot is able to get onto the Golden Gate bridge and hang a banner and no one notices until he takes himself out of the gene pool?

Wow ... Che Guevara is probably rolling over in his grave knowing this guy was selling his t-shirts a few days ago.

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Peace Protester Chains Himself To Washington State Grange Building



Which echoes what I said about the bulk of peace protesters being really, really stupid.

He intended to chain himself to a federal Department of Energy office building.

Grange employees found Jody Mason about 11:45 a.m. Tuesday and asked what he was doing.

He told employees he'd chained himself to the building in civil disobedience Monday night after listening to President Bush's televised ultimatum to Saddam Hussein.

Mason padlocked one end of the chain around his neck and the other to a door, which opens to a bottom-floor office. He told onlookers he was protesting Bush's foreign and domestic policies. He had affixed a sign to the building reading, "Reduce Deficit."

Grange employees explained that he was at the wrong building. The Grange is a nonprofit, nonpartisan group that advocates for residents in rural areas.

"I don't think that's ever happened before," said Larry Clark, Grange communications director.

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Our Mustard Is Not French!



French's Mustard wants you to know they aren't French at all ... even though their product is yellow. "For the record, French's would like to say, there is nothing more American than French's mustard," the statement said. R.T. French Co., a Reckitt Benckiser precursor, introduced its "cream salad mustard," alongside the hot dog, in 1904 at the St. Louis World's Fair.
It seems French's mustard wants to distance itself from the French people. France has refused to support the war in Iraq, which inspired two Republican members of Congress last week to call a press conference to announce that House cafeterias have dropped the word "french" before fries and toast on their menus and replaced it with "freedom."

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Vandalism By Peace Protestors At 9/11 Memorial Creates Patriotic Backlash



Last week anti-war-on-Iraq demonstrators destroyed a memorial to the victims of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the East Coast. Vandals destroyed 87 American flags, destroying red-white-and-blue stepping stones created by neighborhood children and replacing patriotic signs with antiwar slogans -- thus proving their desire for tolerance and peace only extends to those who agree with them. It also proved they are really, really stupid since 9/11 memorials shouldn't have anything to do with Iraq -- Iraq and terrorism have no link, protesters keep insisting.

As the week ended, the fence had become a rallying point of patriotism, drawing people from all over Southern California who heard about it on the news and wanted to help restore it.

By Thursday, 200 new American flags were again flying at the site, along with new posters and pictures of Sept. 11 victims and of local soldiers and their families.

Hmmm ... 87 flags destroyed and 200 take its place. I don't think these anti-war demonstrators represent as many Americans as they think they do ... but 87 vandalisms being replaced by 200 reaffirmations is a pretty good metaphor for America either way.

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Brits Concerned Hot Cross Buns at Easter Will 'Offend' Non-Christians -- Even British Muslims Say That's Bizarre



The Sunday Telegraph is reporting that schools in a number of regions have been ordered not to serve the buns this Easter lest they “offend” children of a non-Christian faith. It’s yet another reminder that 'diversity' means nothing of the sort.

To its credit, the Muslim Council of Britain has called the decision “very, very bizarre”. One of its spokesmen is quoted by the Telegraph as follows:

"This is absolutely amazing. At the moment, British Muslims are very concerned about the upcoming war with Iraq and are hardly going to be taken aback by a hot cross bun…Unfortunately actions like this can only create a backlash and it is not very thoughtful. I wish they would leave us alone. We are quite capable of articulating our own concerns and if we find something offensive, we will say so. We do not need to rely on other people to do it for us…British Muslims have been quite happily eating and digesting hot cross buns for many years and I don't think they are suddenly going to be offended."

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Canadian Man Trapped In Bathroom By Cat



Thus demonstrating why Canada is not a world power.

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California Free Speech Demonstrators Destroy September 11th Memorial On Private Land



Police who witnessed the vandalism say it isn't actually vandalism unless the owner complains ... otherwise they are simply exercising their free speech the same as people who built the memorial.

La Habra fence owner Jeff Collison, apparently having just emerged from the twilight zone and not realizing he was in California, disagrees. "Their free speech stops at destruction of private property. If they are allowed to come on my property and burn flags, does that mean I can go to City Hall or the police station and light their flags on fire because that is freedom of speech? To me, this is vandalism," Collison said.

Les Howard, a sociology professor at Whittier College, said the incident might be an indication of some confusion among people trying to stop a possible war against Iraq but uncertain how to express their sentiments. However, he said he does not condone the destruction of symbols important to those who erect them.

What he was saying, in a polite way, is that most of the anti-war demonstrators are really, really stupid. Not knowing the difference between a September 11th memorial and the war on Iraq is proof of that.

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California College To Apologize To Bush After Teacher Coerces Students Into Writing Anti-War Letters



Another example of the swing toward college liberalism run amok. Professor Rosalyn Kahn dislikes Bush and his stand on Iraq she made it clear to her Speech 106 class she made it clear they would receive extra credit if and only if they wrote protest letters to President Bush.

She then made a similar assignment for state Sen. Jack Scott, D-Pasadena and personally delivered them to him.

Chris Stevens, one of the students, contacted FIRE -- the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education -- a Philadelphia-based campus watchdog group, and they took action. FIRE's Chief Executive Officer, Thor L. Halvorssen, praised the school. "When fully informed of a frightening violation of freedom of conscience, the college administration responded swiftly and boldly to restore liberty and to undo the harm already done," he said.

The report does not say whether Kahn has been censured in any way, other than being given a day off while the administration investigated. Imagine the outcry on campus if a college professor forced students to write pro-Bush letters

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